Do not kiss your children
so they will kiss you back
but so they will kiss their children,
and their children’s children.
- Noah benShea
I love this quote. Besides being a bit of what my mom would call “a tearjerker,” it perfectly sums up my philosophy of parenting. The way I see it, good parenting is like paying it forward: giving the world a competent, well-adjusted, happy person without asking any reward in return. Yet having our kids “kiss us back” seems to be the goal of a lot of parents. But that’s not really what parenting is (or should be) about, is it? A person shouldn’t have kids to validate her existence, or for companionship, or to raise her self-esteem. And parents seek their kids’ approval more than they should. Parenting really isn’t a mutual relationship; a parent is a parent, not a peer or a friend.
Just my opinion (but then again, I do get paid for my opinion on this subject). :D
5 comments:
I heartily agree! I imagine it will be harder in practice sometimes but hope I am up to the challenge!
!!!!! well said, noah and liz:)
I totally agree. But I gotta say... I LOVE IT now that Avery is giving me kisses back. With a big mmmmmwwwwwaaaaahhhhhh. It's awesome. But I certainly kiss her lots more than she kisses me.
But of course...and it's impossible for a child to love a parent as much as the parent loves the child. (which tells me a lot about how much my parents must love me)
And yet, the love of a three-year-old is magic incarnate, and I am unapologetic about how sweet it is (insert musical note) to be loved by her.
Oh, I definitely agree that there are few things more exquisite than a child’s laughter, kisses, or other displays of affection! But I still maintain that there is a slippery slope. I know a lot of parents who permit things they probably shouldn’t just because they want their kids’ approval. Whether this is from guilt over a divorce or the simple (and quite understandable) desire to be liked, seems like it leads to the breakdown of discipline and appropriate boundaries, which in turn leads to misbehavior, narcissism, and a bunch of other bad things. Guess I’m old-fashioned that way. Yep, I anticipate saying “because I’m the mama and I know what’s best for you” quite a bit in the coming years…
Post a Comment