still here

The trial is done. The settlement facilitation is done. (Well, it was postponed, due to factors beyond my control.) I have one hearing on Tuesday which could be continued if necessary. I do have about a day's left of work to do. Well, more accurately, I could busy myself for a lifetime, but I think the necessary projects will only take about a day and then I'll be able to breathe easy about leaving the office.

Someone alerted me to the fact that I've now entered the phase of pregnancy where if you don't post regularly, people will assume you are off having a baby. (It's very interesting to me that there are still 2 weeks till my due date and people are already pestering me about whether I'm in labor... as if I have some control over the matter or am somehow behind the ball for not having delivered early.) Sorry to disappoint, but Miss Hartwell is still quite comfy where she is! She's making it harder for me to sleep these days (I spent the first half of last night in the rocking chair next to our bed, then transitioned to bed around 3 a.m.) and is still moving around a lot, which I find pretty amusing considering she must be running out of room in there! My due date is 12 days away, and I hope she will stay put for at least 3 more days. That's long enough for (a) me to finish up at work and (b) her to be born during the Obama administration. ;) Rest assured that when she makes her appearance, we will broadcast it to the world - here, on Facebook, through e-mail, possibly renting a skywriter...

I've had a lot of moments of apprehension lately - not really about my abilities as a parent, because I'm feeling strangely okay about all of that. Maybe it's all the exposure to babies I've had (though I know nothing can really prepare you for the enormity of it), or maybe it's because I see some pretty bad parenting through my job, but I think we will be okay in the parenting area. Not without a significant learning curve, but definitely capable. My feeling of being overwhelmed comes more from all the well-wishers who tell me things like "Your life is never going to be the same" and "Get ready to lose your identity." The first comment, I assume, is just as much good as bad. The second comment, not so much. Considering my identity has just started to solidify at the age of 31, losing it again sounds kind of... scary. But I know I'm not the first person to feel these things, and I am lucky to have many dear friends who have paved the way and shown me that it is very possible to be a wife and mother, have a career you love, and still maintain the very best parts of yourself. And so, my apprehension has been slowly melting away and is replaced by pure excitement: to meet our daughter, to welcome this new little person into our family, to finally become the mother I have always wanted to be.